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      What Your WFH Team Really Needs: Unstructured Interaction

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      New research suggests the problems with work from home (WFH) don’t emerge because employees are no longer co-located. Its weaknesses arise when leaders fail to create an unstructured connection.
      In August 2020, we surveyed 2,300 executives and employees who were abruptly thrust from the workplace due to COVID-19. The results question the long-held pessimism that virtual technologies can promote the frequent informal interaction needed to generate social capital—a measure of the healthy functioning of social systems. We see hopeful evidence that virtual tech can be used not just for working, but for creating a connection.
      We’ve known communication technologies are adequate for structured interaction. Need to get a geographically dispersed team to develop a budget? A 1980s-style conference call worked fine. Want your team to critique a marketing plan? A 2015-era video conference is terrific. But what we never found a way to do with these technologies was to promote unstructured interaction that reliably produces deep human bonds.
      Unstructured interaction is free-form contact that promotes exploration, social learning, and social connection. Research shows it’s a critical ingredient of high-performance organizations. Much of the trust you might develop during a stressful product launch comes from unplanned moments where you show colleagues a prized video of your daughter scoring a goal, or when you share a special headache recipe with a coworker who is repeatedly rubbing her head.
      Because few have historically used virtual communications to consistently promote this kind of interaction, we’ve assumed it couldn’t be done. That’s how we came to assume that the only way to create a deep connection is to pass pizza over a cubicle wall.
      The Office is a Way, Not the Way
      We found tremendous social capital can be generated if leaders match new social technologies with virtual technologies. The limiting factor has never been distance, it has been an absence of innovation in social rituals that create similar effects on proximity.
      What worked about the office was that it was a highly structured way of promoting unstructured interaction. It gave the illusion of agency to our spontaneous connection. But in reality, those “chance” happenings were always engineered. We were required to arrive at 8 am, have lunch at noon, and work where we were assigned. And it worked. Like marbles in a bowl, our contact with each other was not elective.
      Leaders in organizations that have thrived in recent months understand that WFH demands more than substituting conference calls for conference rooms. They are experimenting aggressively to create new norms and rituals for unstructured interaction. For example, here’s how one leader promotes unstructured virtual contact:
      “Every morning at 9:30, my team meets [online] for a ‘Check-in’ to make sure everyone is okay. Initially, it was very work-focused. Now it has become a time to share personal stories, give tours of our homes, see each other’s families, have our morning coffee together… If anyone is upset, we show compassion. If anyone needs help, we provide assistance. If anyone has a success, we celebrate. [We] have really come together as people who care about each other…”
      Similar to office-based rituals, everyone must arrive at the same virtual location at the same time. From there, the agenda is loose and social. But the result is deepening feelings of connection and trust.
      When we asked respondents what tactics leaders used to offset WFH challenges, we found that leaders in healthy organizations went beyond the obvious interventions like altering work hours or offering flex-time policies, and were far more likely to use:
      Fun, off-the-wall virtual events (virtual dance parties, online eating contests, etc.).
      More frequent team meetings.
      Scheduled non-work-related team meetings for team members to connect.
      Notice what these have in common—they enable not just structured, but unstructured interaction. And their social capital effects were strikingly different, showing a two to four times greater impact on social capital than offering a more generous flex time policy.
      This study provides early evidence that leaders need not choose between developing a high-performance culture and allowing home-based work. It may be possible to have both, provided leaders to take responsibility to embed new rituals that provide an ample mix of structured and unstructured interaction.
      Joseph Grenny is a four-time New York Times bestselling author, keynote speaker, and leading social scientist for business performance. He is the co-founder of VitalSmarts, an innovator in corporate training and leadership development.

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      Why Visual Representations of Diversity Aid an Inclusive Work Environment

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      The workplace is where we spend most of our lives. Shouldn’t it, therefore, be a place where we can bring our whole selves to work without the fear of facing discrimination based on our ethnicity, culture, gender, age, or sexual orientation? Shouldn’t the workplace include, celebrate, and represent people from all walks of life? Unfortunately,…
      Why Visual Representations of Diversity Aid an Inclusive Work Environment Undercover Recruiter – More

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      How to Deal with Changing COVID-19 Regulations

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      Research shows nearly half the population has reported feeling worried and stressed since the onset of the COVID-19 global pandemic earlier this year.
      With new health and safety measures at work to familiarise yourself with, constantly changing government regulations, and the future of the physical workplace remaining unclear, it’s hardly a surprise the mental health of both employers and their staff has deteriorated.
      The effects of seasonal changes can be profound too. the length of daylight, the intensity of the sunlight, and how and where we spend our time can all impact our mental health.
      It’s common for people to feel more tired, unmotivated, and depleted in the colder months. Anxiety may also increase as these changes can create an unsettled response in the human body.
      I discuss the best employee mental health support businesses can provide to help individuals struggling with uncertainty.
      How uncertainty affects mental health
      ‘Is my job safe?’ ‘Will my pay be reduced?’ ’Will I be back in the office soon?” ‘Will we be in lockdown again?’
      The ongoing pandemic has contributed to many questions being raised, which we are yet to still find answers to – especially where the workplace is concerned. Because of this many are finding uncertainty more uncomfortable, especially as some employees now face uncertainty regarding multiple aspects of their lives, which may have previously felt within their control.
      Of course, nothing in life is entirely certain but for some, the current situation has triggered uncomfortable emotions and scientific research suggests it’s important businesses have strategies in place to support employees with uncertainty’s psychological and physical impact on the body.
      Research suggests there is a link between high intolerance of uncertainty and anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive difficulties. Uncertainty can also have a physical impact on the body due to the ongoing impact of stress hormones.
      The physical effect includes impaired memory, diabetes, digestive functioning and impact on our cardiovascular system
      How can businesses provide the right emotional support for staff?
      Employee benefits propositions should be designed and updated with emotional support in mind, giving staff access to the tools they need to cope during stressful or uncertain periods.
      The emotional impact of COVID-19 on each employee will be different and the support on offer from employers should reflect this. However, worryingly, a recent survey revealed that only 15 percent of employers had asked staff to identify their needs during this difficult time.
      Understanding the workforce is therefore essential and enables employers to tailor the most useful benefits proposition. This means getting to know employees through surveys, online forums, and one-to-one chats, recognizing their needs and priorities.
      Offerings should include a combination of services that give employees access to specialists with whom they can discuss their difficulties and learn positive coping mechanisms.
      Highlight existing workplace offerings like employee assistance programs (EAPs) which offer direct, confidential contact with counselors and mental health experts.
      You could also consider inviting an expert to give a company talk on general coping mechanisms for anxiety. This may help those who are worried about speaking to managers or employers about their fears.
      If face-to-face offerings aren’t currently possible, telephone or online CBT sessions are useful in helping employees tackle unhelpful thinking patterns or in learning practical coping techniques. Consider investing in online workshops or webinars, which can assist everyone in recognizing signs of stress and equip them with the confidence and skills to support others.
      For example, emotional literacy training is an effective tool for boosting employee resilience by ensuring staff has a common language to discuss mental health.
      At Nuffield Health, over 12,000 employees (of 16,000) have successfully completed emotional literacy training. Following this training, 94 percent said they’d feel confident supporting a colleague showing signs of emotional distress.
      In conjunction, we also offer Mental Health Awareness training workshops. This develops Mental Health Champions in the workplace, who, in combination with line managers, are empowered to raise understanding around mental wellbeing and to help others access the right support at the right time.
      It’s also important to ensure connectivity for members of staff who are still self-isolating or if businesses remain working from home. Those continuing with prolonged remote working may face psychological hazards linked to increased loneliness and isolation.
      Supporting employees with remote therapy of their choosing, either by video, phone, or email, provides an additional expert support network while away from their colleagues.
      By Brendan Street, Professional Head of Emotional Wellbeing, Nuffield Health.

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      Fresh Perspectives for Post-Pandemic Working

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      Forecasting like the weather is fraught with difficulty, but at least the Met Office has decades of data, advanced modeling technology all combined with huge experience. Forecasting the future of work, how people will work, and what the workplace will look like – in the context of a global pandemic – is completely unprecedented. A bit like trying to foresee a hurricane making landfall at Hastings.
      Certainly, offices will not die nor disappear, but the experience of the past few months has seen a huge behavioral change, particularly during the hard lockdown. The proven viability of working remotely at scale means the way we work and the way we use offices needs to adapt.  But, before jumping into solutions-mode, we should recognize technology-driven change was already in train. Over the last decade, it has resulted in a massive shift from fixed to fluid. Covid-19 has added fuel to the fire. It is the single greatest change accelerator in the world of work, and the domain of real estate, for more than 100 years.
      To help readers of Undercover Recruiter gain some fresh perspectives; I suggest that the following thoughts may help re-shape your views on work, the workforce, and the workplace. They are all premised on my core belief that whatever emerges post-COVID-19 it will be much more people-centric than ever before.
      1. There may not be ‘a new normal’.
      A reservoir of printer’s ink has been expended on the discourse of returning to work and getting back to a new normal. I wonder are we looking at this through blinkers? The winds of massive change in terms of how we work were already starting to gust before the pandemic. Working away from the office has severely dented the Principle of Presenteeism, the last bastion of traditional management; which strengthens these winds to gale force. I believe we are facing a new reality which calls for a lot of fresh thinking about how we do things.
      2. Are we seeing only part of the picture in the current debate about the merits of office versus home/remote working?
      In recent months the bi-polar debate of working from home versus a return to the office has attracted a host of media commentary. Yet I suggest that this debate is only part of the picture. The pandemic enforced experiment of working beyond the confines of the traditional office demonstrates that we now have a real choice about where and when we work.  It has also raised many other questions.
      3. Can we move away from our fixation on the physical aspect of work and see the wood for the trees.
      Whilst there is much to commend the office in terms of collaboration, creativity, and the social aspects of how we work, we do need to revisit its overall purpose. The key question in my mind is the fixed nature of the pre-pandemic system – everything revolved around a fixed physical place with four walls. What about the potential of multiple workplace dimensions rather than the traditional either/or choice – the office or work from home?  Can we think about alternative ways of how we carry out office-type work today?
      4. Now is the time to shift to outcomes-focused work.
      Surely, we can all recognize the benefits to be derived from alternative working practices which, in themselves, can produce meaningful outcomes and measurable impact – irrespective of the physical space where people are working.
      5. Do we need to join the dots?
      The propensity for silo thinking and ‘protecting our own turf’ prevails in lots of organizations. Has the time arrived to break down these barriers?  In the interest of coming up with a more sustainable and sensible view of the convergence of work, the workforce, and the workplace.
      6. Necessity is the mother of all invention.
      We have all been forced to change in 2020, and I wonder could we discover new or different ways of doing things?  The nature of work and how we use both spaces and places have been fundamentally affected by the crisis and a return to the old world is unlikely.  By using this time to think and reflect, could we invent some fresh thinking about workplaces, work, and the workforce?
      Our world is changing, work is changing; therefore, the built environment needs to adjust. Now is the time to re-set, re-assess and re-imagine.  But it will be much wider than just buildings as I said at the start, it will all be about the talent and their new-found choice.  I think we are seeing not an era of change, but the change of an era.
      Where is My Office?: Reimagining the Workplace for the 21st Century by Chris Kane, in collaboration with Eugenia Anastassiou, is published by Bloomsbury Business on 15 October 2020. Available at Bloomsbury.com and at all good bookshops.

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      How Can Oversharing in Job Interviews Damage Your Prospects?

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      Everybody has that one talkative friend who is always guilty of oversharing. What they did over the weekend, what they’re doing next weekend, what they had for dinner, who they’re dating – it can be exhausting hanging out with them, or even reading their social media posts, due to the onslaught of information they always feel the need to provide. But they’re our friends, so we forgive them for monopolizing conversations and clogging up our Facebook feed.
      Some of us may even be guilty ourselves. Perhaps you’re the chatty one, and love being the center of attention in social circles. For job seekers, being an extrovert can serve them well, as those who are outgoing are known to have an advantage in the workplace. However, while being a people person might give employees an edge when climbing the corporate ladder, job seekers should be wary of coming across too verbose in interviews. Though sharing information is a necessary part of the job application process, oversharing could cost candidates the job. Let’s look at a few reasons.
      Bad First Impression
      A job interview is meant to be an exchange of information. Interviewers want to get to know candidates, asking them several questions in order to determine their fit for the role and organization. Candidates in turn share information about their job history and relevant work experience. When a candidate talks too much in an interview, it causes the interviewer to feel as though he or she has lost control of the situation, which should never happen. While candidates should feel free to be themselves, they should let the interviewer control the direction of the interview in order to gain the information they seek.
      Lack of Respect
      Interviewers are usually on a tight schedule and must interview multiple candidates in addition to their daily responsibilities. Job seekers who monopolize the conversation show a disregard for the interviewer’s agenda and disrespect for their time. If the meeting nears its end and the interviewer still hasn’t gleaned the information needed to accurately evaluate the candidate for the position, it puts them in the awkward position of having to run late to their next appointment or end the interview without the facts they require to make a hiring decision.
      Lack of Focus
      The main purpose of a job interview is to evaluate candidates, and an experienced interviewer knows what questions to ask to determine which candidate would be the best fit for the role and company. However, if candidates are easily distracted and have trouble staying on topic when answering questions about their work history or qualifications, the interviewer might have concerns regarding their ability to focus on assigned tasks or complete projects within deadlines once hired. While sharing personal stories and examples can be helpful in interviews, candidates should keep them brief and ensure they’re relevant to the interviewer’s questions. If the interviewer then requires more information, he or she will ask.
      Confidentiality Concerns
      Running a successful business involves handling confidential information. This may include company sales figures, employee salaries, client details, etc. Nearly all employees above entry-level encounter some type of information that should not be shared outside the company. If candidates show a lack of restraint in sharing irrelevant stories or personal details during a job interview, this may be seen as a red flag regarding their ability to maintain confidentiality when given access to sensitive company information. Interviews are a good time to start building trust with employers. In addition to sharing personal information requested by the interviewer, candidates should also demonstrate they know when not to share.
      Social Media Behavior
      Oversharing isn’t just limited to face-to-face conversations; it can also occur online. Too much has already been written about social media etiquette, and most job seekers know that they will likely be judged by their online behavior. In fact, according to a recent CareerBuilder survey, 70 percent of employers use social media sites to screen job candidates before hiring, and seven percent plan to start. If an employer finds dozens of frivolous social media posts while researching a prospective employee, this could prove damaging to the candidate’s personal brand, regardless of whether he or she deems the content “appropriate.” Candidates should remember that social media posts don’t have to be lewd or profane to jeopardize their job prospects.
      In nearly every role and industry, success requires being aware of one’s surroundings and acting appropriately. Job interviews are the first step toward career success, giving employers the chance to observe and evaluate candidates’ behavior. Though they may think they’re just being friendly, candidates who love talking a little too much may make a poor first impression in job interviews. However, those who demonstrate to the interviewer that they know when to talk and when to listen, and how to answer questions directly and succinctly, are more likely to make a stronger first impression, leading to a positive interview outcome.

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      Here’s How to Solve the Productivity Puzzle

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      All of us are born with a desire to contribute; we are hard-wired to be useful to each other and to society as a whole. If you think about it, there are few things more satisfying than a job well done. Having a sense of purpose, mastering a task, and having others approve of, or even admire what we achieve is highly motivating. It feels good.
      Problem is, as we grow older and our experiences build over time, many of us become disillusioned, disappointed, or just plain bored by the work we do – we get in a rut. The joy diminishes from the day-to-day piling up of things to do that do not align with personal values, personal motivations, aspirations, and/or the types of skills we wish to master. There are few things more demotivating than this.
      Of course, this happens to everyone at some point; however, when dissatisfaction lasts months, and months turn into years, something has gone wrong. Why continue doing something that does not align to one’s personal motivations and desires?

      There comes a time when you ought to start doing what you want. Take a job that you love. You will jump out of bed in the morning. I think you are out of your mind if you keep taking jobs that you don’t like because you think it will look good on your resume. Isn’t that a little like saving up sex for your old age?

      — WARREN BUFFETT, INVESTMENT GURU, CHAIRMAN AND CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER OF BERKSHIRE HATHAWAY
      There is a certain truth to what Warren Buffet says here; however, when one must worry about a mortgage, school fees, a car payment, or a student loan to pay back, the mind becomes focused on this at the expense of aspiration and desire. The real reason that so many of today’s workforce end up in a rut is far more complex than just pulling up your bootstraps and going out to find that perfect job. In fact, many of the reasons people fall into uninspiring work are outside of their control.
      If you think about the economic realities the vast majority of people face on a day-to-day basis it’s no wonder that we sometimes fall into a trap of taking what is on offer at any given point. Often the dilemma starts from a young age: Do we go to university? Can we afford it? Can we make the grade? Or do we skip further education and go for an entry-level position and work our way up? This is a profound decision for a 17- to 18-year-old. However, this is where most of us start our quest for that perfect job, the ultimate career. To add to the daunting task, perfect jobs do not grow on trees, so even if a teenager has a clear view about what they want to do, how do they find that job? And what do they do to support themselves until that job is discovered? After all, it can take years to get where we want to be.
      Additionally, if you think about the current state of the world of work, the method by which people find careers and careers find people is largely unchanged since the beginning of the Industrial Revolution. True, today we have LinkedIn and some digital job posting boards, but largely the process is the same as it has always been: employer posts job, prospective employee finds posting (mainly online, these days) and applies. From there, the process of interview and assessment, selecting candidates, and getting them onboarded is also largely unchanged. It’s a very two-dimensional world controlled by supply and demand, navigated with a bit of luck (for both employee and employer). It’s highly inefficient, time-consuming, and rarely gets the right person, with the right skills and the right motivations in the right job at the right time. Throw in the whims of the normal business cycle – growing economy followed by a shrinking economy (supply and demand) – and the complexities multiply. This traditional way of finding and deploying the workforce is constantly changing market conditions, I would argue, is the fundamental reason why so many people find themselves doing uninspiring work and feeling trapped in it. Pull up your bootstraps and go find that job! Good luck with that.

      Everyone has been made for some particular work and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.

      — RUMI, ANCIENT PERSIAN POET PHILOSOPHER
      What would the world of work be like if we could turn technology and technological change to our advantage and use it to match the perfect person to the perfect job; a job that gives purpose, the opportunity to master new things, and the opportunity to be left to get on with that work without too much interference by others? What if we change the mindset (and processes) to think differently about bringing in new talent and deploying it at the right time and right place with the right skills and right motivations. Most would say this is impossible in today’s workplace – the tools we have are very one-dimensional and do not help us to think and do differently. And you can add to this today’s economic realities, where there is a complete focus on quarterly results, profits, cutting costs, growing the top line, and saving the taxpayer money (in the public sector) that override many people’s desires and motivations: just get on with the work! Produce more with less, meet objectives, meet the deadline, and at all costs, deliver! Most of us get caught up in these whirlwinds and we put our heads down and plod through, quarter after quarter – a treadmill.
      But does the world of work have to be this way? Is there a different way to do things, a different way to look at things? Maybe the simple ‘equation’ given in Figure 0.1 can illustrate a way forward.
      Figure 0.1 People engagement, innovation, and performance (PEIP)

      An illustration shows an equation for working smarter. The equation is ‘the sum of right people, right skills, right place, right time, and right motivation yields PEIP’.
      What if we created a workforce ‘marketplace’ that not only balances supply and demand of resources, but also maps people’s skills, motivations, and aspirations to the right job at the right time (PEIP)? If we can achieve this, then (as postulated by Rumi) the chances that people ‘made for some particular work and the desire for that work’ find and succeed in that work go up dramatically. The benefits for individuals, and society at large, would be tremendous – even miraculous.
      Imagine, then, if we ‘turbo-charged’ this equation with emerging ‘intelligent’ technology, as pictured in Figure 0.2, using artificial intelligence (AI) and machine learning to further maximize the efficiencies of PEIP – a new way of working where individuals and organizations use smart technology to find each other, to get the right people in the right role. People doing jobs they love for organizations they love will be highly engaged and create great places to work. Imagine that, once PEIP is in place, people could leverage smart technology to help them be even more productive than they are today; robots working for us, and with us, to make work more fun and fulfilling. Let the robots do the mundane work and free up humans to do higher-order work. Sounds like science fiction, but it’s not – the technology to make this happen is available today, and the time for this to happen is here and now. Demographic and other trends in the work environment are rapidly emerging alongside the latest technology trends and are creating a ‘perfect storm’ of challenge, but also opportunity.
      Figure 0.2 Turbo-charge PEIP

      Consider trends such as the elongation of human life-span, the realization that people on the autistic spectrum bring incredibly innovative ideas, there are more senior and experienced women in work, and the fact that we have a much better scientific understanding of the workings of the human brain and what truly motivates people. These trends, combined with PEIP, demonstrate that we may be on the cusp of a truly transformative time in the world of work. One where ‘everyone has been made for some particular work and the desire for that work’ can be realized.
      Tim Ringo is an author, speaker, board advisor and senior executive. His new book “Solving the Productivity Puzzle” is out now. Find out more about Tim on www.timringo.com

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      Supporting Long-Term Remote Working Post COVID-19

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      Companies like Twitter and Square recently announced their employees could work remotely forever. But, while remote working can provide many opportunities for the companies of today, longstanding adoption is only beneficial if the transition is completed in the right way.
      Here are the vital steps leaders should take to ensure successful, long-term remote working:
      Develop a culture of trust
      Culture is more important than ever in a virtual environment, not only because staff should feel connected to their teammates, but also so they know when to ‘clock-off’ after a day working from home.
      Businesses should consider offering a flexible, remote workday schedule, outside the traditional 9-5. One benefit is this provides flexibility to meet personal needs and family responsibilities conveniently. Being granted an environment where staff can better balance work with personal demands ensures improved concentration and productivity on tasks during work hours.
      If you’re looking to further align your remote working goals with employee needs and satisfaction, keeping regular dialogue and seeking feedback from employees can help a company better understand the sentiment of staff and which benefits they’d most appreciate during prolonged home working.
      Encourage exercise-related activities, at work, at home, and in the community
      It’s essential to ensure musculoskeletal health is protected while employees work from home. However, research shows more than half of employees receive no employer guidance on how to set up a workstation that supports healthy posture, despite employer’s having a legal obligation to look after the health of long-term desk workers.
      Employers should issue and check Display Screen Equipment assessments are completed and if possible, provide access to face to face and remote physiotherapy services to help both prevent and treat musculoskeletal issues.
      With more employees becoming engaged with fitness during lockdown, there is also an opportunity for businesses to capitalize on this momentum. Companies should help staff maintain enthusiasm for keeping active by making benefits available that facilitate this like access to both onsite and remote fitness services.
      Continue to support virtual mental health offerings
      Post lockdown, many companies reported online video counseling sessions became more popular among employees, showing many now feel comfortable accessing support for mental wellbeing via technology.
      Whether you do or do not already have emotional wellbeing services, it is an important time for all businesses to see which options are available that could make a real difference to your workforce. While those returning to the office may have access to face-to-face offerings, there are also plenty of wellness options that can be offered to staff remotely.
      These include cognitive behavior therapy, which can be delivered safely and effectively by phone, video, or email for flexibility and privacy. Other types of therapy, which are also safe, effective, and accessible remotely, include counseling (e.g., relationship, bereavement), interpersonal therapy, and access to psychiatric assessments.
      Expand staff healthcare support
      Many of today’s offices are filled to the brim with the latest technology, from standing desks to tech which enhances connectivity and workflow patterns around the office.  If these are available for those when in the office, businesses should extend the same courtesies to their remote workforce.
      Consider offering or expanding employee allowances to subsidize work-related purchases. Whether you find a way to provide the same office set up to your remote employees or provide a fixed regular sum paid as a salary or as expenses, so they can purchase what they see fit, assisting them in setting up a home office is a key perk.
      Some options for staff could include ergonomic chairs, extra monitors to help them process computer tasks more efficiently, and access to high-speed, adequate broadband. Not only are these helpful to staff but improving workstation ergonomics can reduce symptoms associated with musculoskeletal disorders and shows you are a responsible business, who cares about the health of your employees.
      By Kevin Thomson, Corporate Healthcare Director, Nuffield Health.

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      5 Alternate Ways to Ask Your Employees “Are You Okay?” 

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      As HR professionals, we’ve felt the intense impact & pressure COVID19 has had on our companies. We’ve had to re-structure and organize our operations, re-visit our strategies, put in place new training and regulations… whilst also dealing with living in a pandemic! Every news station is discussing the changing workforce, and it’s true the workforce has been disrupted in a manner we’ve never experienced before, but what about our employees? Can’t the same be said about our workers? The global pandemic has had a drastic impact on the mental health of individuals, with a shocking 1,000% increase of individuals calling mental help hotlines.
      You know that feeling when you’re in a terrible headspace but you’re uncomfortable letting yourself cry or complain in your current environment…there’s been countless times where someone has attempted to comfort me and the fireworks have let loose. Whilst it’s comforting to know someone cares, it’s also uncomfortable to feel so overwhelmed. And, whilst your intentions are coming from a place of care, you may cause tension if you simply ask “Are You Okay?” because this sentence has connotations of implying there’s something wrong with the disheartened individual. Fortunately for us, there are other ways we can show our support.
      1. Buy them a coffee.
      It doesn’t have to be a coffee, but you know what I mean. We’re humans, and we have the tendency to overthink and work ourselves up over our emotions. The more we think about them the more intensely we feel them which is a vicious cycle. Sometimes, all it takes is a small act of compassion to pull you back to reality and center you…so, when someone buys a ‘coffee’ for you, you begin to focus on their act of compassion and slowly the negative thoughts and feelings you had to seem fainter. This is a great way of showing someone you care about them, and you acknowledge they need some support- WITHOUT being overbearing. If you’re working remotely, like most of the world, you can still do this! Heard of Uber Eats or DoorDash? Maybe even ‘Jimmy Brings’ if they need some serious cheering up…
      2. How can I support you?
      If you know (or sense) your colleague or employee is going through a rough time, you already know that. You know they aren’t okay, so what is asking them ‘are you okay’ going to do? It’s not beneficial and draws attention to their seemingly off demeanor. What you need to do is show your support. Give them a helping hand, and cut to the chase. We’re nosy beings.. we love to know all the nitty-gritty details of someone else’s life and drama, (hence the huge market for reality TV), but don’t get your curiosity confused with your intentions. Skip the chit chat, ask them how you can support them. Ask them what they need from you. By showing them you want to give them something, it takes away the tension of them having to approach you and ask for something (which is very hard to do).
      3. Mention a concern, then approach.
      This one is a bit tricky but works well if executed in the correct situation. I think the best way to explain it is with an example… Imagine this scenario;
      Your work colleague comes to the office noticeably not themselves. They always say good morning and have a chat before diving into work- but not today. If they’re not themselves, they aren’t going to act the way they normally would- but SOMETIMES that’s exactly what they need to do! You aren’t strangers, you can still approach them… “ Hey, you seem a bit distant today, how are you going? What did you get up to over the weekend?”. YOU take initiative, just because someone’s seemingly unsettled it doesn’t mean they aren’t human beings with social instincts.
      Reach out, if they wanted to talk about their feelings they would tell you but the reality is they don’t owe you any explanations, and you shouldn’t want one. If you care, the only thing you should be concerned about is their wellbeing and how you can make a difference.
      4. You can vent to me if you want.
      You shouldn’t want to pry, you shouldn’t aim to get the latest tea, BUT you should offer to listen. Everyone is wired differently, some people don’t want to talk about what they’re feeling and others are dying for someone to vent to, but don’t want to be a burden and unleash a heap of negative thoughts on someone else. It never hurts to offer your time and attention, usually we’re able to think objectively and see our situation from a different perspective when we speak out loud and air our thoughts. When taking this approach on board it’s important to remember the ball must always be in their court, don’t overstep, and don’t be forceful.
      5. Open-ended questions.
      The biggest concern with asking “are you okay?” is the minimal room for a response. “Yes, I’m okay” or “No, I’m not okay”. Either way, neither of these responses offer insight into the mind of your colleague or employee. Therefore, what’s the point of asking them? You’d need to ask them another question regardless of their answer… so skip the useless closed-ended question and start with open-ended questions. You provide them with an opportunity to elaborate and express themselves how they want to. You’ll receive more in-depth and insightful answers that’ll enable you to continue the conversation and hopefully discover what is disrupting them and how you can help.
      These are a few alternate ways to check in with your colleagues and your employees. Now’s the time we need to step up and look out for one another, we’re all in the same boat so there are no excuses. You know what you need, thus you know what your peers need. We must step up and be proactive rather than reactive, the wellbeing of our employees shouldn’t be forgotten or overlooked in these times of distress. Check-in before you regret not checking in.
      A list of help hotlines
      Mental Health America 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
      Crisis Services Canada 1-833-456-4566 toll-free
      Lifeline Australia 13 11 14
      HopeLine UK 0800 068 4141
      Cassandra Diamantis is the Marketing Specialist at My Recruitment Plus. Cassie writes content that aids HR and recruiters efficiently recruit, onboard, and lead. Her company aims to modernize recruitment and onboarding processes through enterprise-grade technology and round the clock client success support.

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